Monday, April 30, 2012

One day in the Minister’s office

Minister: The Sunday Star Times Magazine has asked me to do one of those what-I-like columns called Culture Vulture

Advisor: Don’t do it Minister. 

M: Exciting. It’s a great opportunity. 

A: Minister don’t do it. 

M: Gosh, there are just so many things to think about, painting, photography, that installation thing. 

A: Seriously Minister, no 

M: (Checking his email) Hang about, here it is, they want to know my “favourite piece of sculpture”. 

A: Minister please, don’t 

M: I love sculpture it’s so… three dimensional. 

A: Minister… 

M: (distracted) Yes, yes? 

A: Don’t do it. 

M: But what sculpture? That’s the question. The trick is to pick one that will make me look well informed and ‘with-it’ at the same time. A plugged-in politician who’s not going to back off the avant-garde. 

A: D.O.N.T. 

M: I know, I’ll go for something political. A sculpture that’s not afraid to have something to say. 

A: (Head in hands) omg 

M: (seeing the headline in front of him) "Fearless Minister for Arts picks political sculpture." That’ll get me some respect. 

A: (silence) 

M: Ring the SST. We’re going with the statue of Keith Holyoake

A: Yes Minister.