Thursday, March 20, 2014

One day in the Directors office

Director: I’m getting a lot of pressure from up the line to increase attendances.

Curator:  More kids

Marketing: Kids

Education: Same

D: No, no we can’t go through the 80/20 barrier we need something else to get adults in.

C: A history show?

D: (ignores her) Any ideas?

E: Free beer on tap?

D: Budget

M: Food hall?

D: Not bad but a bit too nineties RA

C: How about drawing the crowds with an extreme artwork?

M: A what? (aside “you’ve got to be kidding me”)

D: (resigned) ok, ok let’s hear what you’ve got.

C: A collective that fill the gallery with condoms inflated with laughing gas and gets the audience to burst them with pins

D: Health and safety issues 

C: OK then, a guy who sands himself with an electric sander on behalf of a favourite charity inside the gallery

D: Not with the cleaners' strike we've got on he won't

C: A sniper shooting high velocity bullets across the gallery at unsuspecting visitors

D: A real sniper?

C: Sure, certified Navy SEAL

D: And the gun?

C: I’m thinking high-powered 30-caliber rifle. Maybe a Tactical 308

D: Let’s do it

M: I’m not so sure about the marketing angle

D: Huh?

M: You know …  um … people getting in the way of bullets .... collateral damage .... bodies.

D: (exasperated) Ok ok then. Shoot something else then

So they did.

(Thanks for the head's up C)