Minister: The Sunday Star Times Magazine has asked me to do one of those what-I-like columns called Culture Vulture.
Advisor: Don’t do it Minister.
M: Exciting. It’s a great opportunity.
A: Minister don’t do it.
M: Gosh, there are just so many things to think about, painting, photography, that installation thing.
A: Seriously Minister, no
M: (Checking his email) Hang about, here it is, they want to know my “favourite piece of sculpture”.
A: Minister please, don’t
M: I love sculpture it’s so… three dimensional.
A: Minister…
M: (distracted) Yes, yes?
A: Don’t do it.
M: But what sculpture? That’s the question. The trick is to pick one that will make me look well informed and ‘with-it’ at the same time. A plugged-in politician who’s not going to back off the avant-garde.
A: D.O.N.T.
M: I know, I’ll go for something political. A sculpture that’s not afraid to have something to say.
A: (Head in hands) omg
M: (seeing the headline in front of him) "Fearless Minister for Arts picks political sculpture." That’ll get me some respect.
A: (silence)
M: Ring the SST. We’re going with the statue of Keith Holyoake
A: Yes Minister.
