Big ears: English edition

Day one at the Basel Art Fair

The Dealers
"It's always good to make promises, but sometimes you can't keep them."

Dealer to artist: "I have an estimate of between 60 and 80 thousand pounds. I mean, you could leave the work under the bed but the media is strong at the moment. I think you would be better off with the money under the bed."

"These are major (pause) monster works."

The Collectors

Stubble 1: "He's a great artist. But this is not great art"
Stubble 2: "Isn't it?"
Stubble 1: (silence)

"It's hot!"
"Which one?"
"I mean the room."

"It's a reindeer and a towel. Everyone's excited."

Copy cat

Meanwhile, back in London, Nike does Jeff Koons or is it Damien Hirst?

Goners

The first Berlin dealer gallery we walked into (Alexander Ochs) was full of contemporary Chinese art. Nothing strange there, the work of Chinese artists is everywhere in the city as it was in London. What was a surprise though was to see the words New Zealand at our feet. They were woven into a carpet by Yang Maoyuan lying in the middle of the show. We were resolved to do as few NZ related posts as possible over here (just joking) but there is nothing like the pull of the local, particularly when it has gone global like this. The carpet was dealing with extinction (wipe your feet on them) cobbling together smaller extinct animals to create an über example. The New Zealand contribution was the quail we once sported and which parted company with us in 1875. Maoyuan had rather oddly given the snub beaked quail a long kiwi-like beak, but apart from us (and then only after a quick dive into Wikipedia), who’s going to notice?

Images: Yang Maoyuan’s Cashmere Carpet (in 60s Birth) 2007. Click image to enlarge.

May days

Last month we: went to a James Bond movie to search for a Goya • thought about light boxes • did three pipes thinking about sculpture theft • avoided making the “they’re in it for the Monet” pun • got over excited about Sean Connery playing ping pong half naked • worked out where Weta got the idea from (Duh!) • did it by the numbers • premiered worm art • followed up on the heart and dagger affair • mashed our two favourite themes – disaster movies and art • saw some bad art at the airport • watched Hans Josephsohn getting the shove in Piccadilly • graciously held back from posting the header ‘some day my plinth will come" and looked at crates.

If you build it they will come

A while back we were wondering about the power if the art gallery context and how a random pile of road working equipment might be received by visitors to an art gallery. Well, here’s a go. This collection of crates, moving equipment and bits of art at Tate Britain managed to get a regular (and generally thoughtful) audience. Thanks Rauschenberg, Beuys, Andre, et al.

My watch has stopped too

The other day we posted on Duchamp’s readymade Bicycle Wheel, having just seen it at the Tate, and last month we mentioned that Michael Parekowhai was showing at the Max Lang gallery (way back we put up a pic of the ornamental china seal that started the whole thing off). Today a reader sends this pic of Parekowhai’s My Sister, My Self from the streets of New York city. Spooky. Thanks R

The art work formally known as Plinth

The new Lord Mayor of London has threatened to cancel the Trafalgar Square Fourth Plinth programme and replace the series of contemporary art projects with a bronze sculpture of a war hero. Unfortunately the current lack-lustre plinth effort by artist Thomas Schütte won’t help those arguing for the programme continuing. Will our own copy-cat version of the plinth project come under similar attack? Our Minister of the Arts rushed across the Tasman only a few months ago to dedicate a bronze soldier on a plinth. New Zealand’s top soldier statue sculptor, Alan Somerville, is no doubt pacing the floor, waiting for the phone to ring.
Images: Plinths in Trafalgar Square, right sculpture by Thomas Schütte

After shock

By the time we got to the Tate Doris Salcedo’s Shibboleth installation in the turbine hall (a 167 meter fracture in the concrete floor) was over. But looking down at our feet it was easy to see where the fissure had been. Carefully filled by technicians the crack lives on as a ghostly drawing. With news of the China quake still on the front pages of UK papers Salcedo’s work, even in this erased form, is still capable of creating a powerful impact.

Court news

Ok, it isn’t done with ping pong balls (and probably isn’t art) but it looks like the sort of thing that will be eagerly taken up by elephants and chimps everywhere. As OTN is an information portal for animal art, let us tell you about the abstract paintings of tennis super star Martina Navratilova. Her idea? To hit paint-covered tennis balls onto canvas and create an exhibition called Art Grand Slam. The first venue was Perth earlier this year, and they loved it. There hasn’t been this much excitement on the burning rock since penis painter Tim Patch. Navratilova is currently showing in London and is set to tour GSA to other key cities. Why did New Zealand miss out on this subtle combination of sport and art? Balls-up.
Image: Navratilova’s Way of My Life

Head job

The business of art is not just rough wine (and cheese if you can get it). These pics were taken outside Hauser & Wirth in Piccadilly where, after being disappointed that there was no show - this was the gallery where Paul McCarthy opened with a performance including the usual sauces and a person dressed up as the Queen Mother after all. As you can see, we were stopped in the street by workers pushing heavy Hans Josephsohn heads into the gallery. The Hauser & Wirth space was originally a bank – still is.

Connected

Today we had breakfast with a guy who flatted with a young woman who worked for the guy who makes the pills for Damien Hirst.
Image: Damien Hirst Lullaby Spring (detail)

The wheel thing

How many of you have stepped into a great museum and headed straight to the bookshop first? Be honest. We were doing just that at Tate Modern the other day and saw this miniature Duchamp wheel for sale as tie in to a Duchamp, Picabia, Man Ray exhibition. When we saw Michael Parekowhai’s version of this Duchamp work balanced on the tip of a seal’s nose, the conceit of making a ready made seemed perfect – a nice balance between homage and interrogation. But making miniature versions in China and boxing them up on behalf of the Duchamp Foundation and the Philadelphia Museum seems a big step in another direction. You can here them round the table discussing merchandise, “The boss made miniatures for his valises, let’s do it.”

Thinking of Justin Paton

We were told there was no photography allowed at the National Gallery so when we saw what we thought was a group standing in front of a painting all taking photographs in unison, we took one of our own. After being ticked off by the guard, we realised that what the members of the group were actually doing was making a square shape with their fingers to create a viewing frame. It was how-to-look-at-a-painting 101.

Filling the Gap

While the Gap and the Whitney were negotiating with artists on who would be seen modelling their artist edition t-shirts and who wouldn’t (yes say Kiki Smith and Ashley Bickerton, a no from Barbara Kruger and Jeff Koons), we had artist Ryan Moore undertake an international fashion shoot for the OTN cap. Here are the pics, each one featuring artist Moore wearing the latest OTN merchandise. Thanks R

Crash landing

Sitting in the international Koru Lounge in Auckland is to witness the dying gasps of art as decor. This is posted from United's Hong Kong lounge where the art is both beautifully displayed and worth looking at for more than a tenth of a second. There was a time when the art at Air New Zealand lounges was selected from a decent range of artists and looked like someone cared about the hanging. No longer. Now it is done by some enterprise called the ArtPort (visit and weep) and is even allowed to join in the fun as background to a kids promotion. Never thought we would say this (and probably shouldn't) but come back John Daly-Peoples, all is forgiven.
Images: Top, Hong Kong. Bottom, Auckland